Game Plan- July 22, 2010

Being the planner that I am, I decided that to take full advantage of my new way of life, I need to make a list of things I foresee will add to my happiness. This list includes: things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to spend more time with, and opportunities I don’t want to let slip by. So here we go:

Happiness List

1. Get published—I have to.
2. Spend more time in NYC—I feel so inspired there.
3. Travel more. Locally and internationally—There’s so much I want to see.
4. Read more, write every day.
5. Go to more museums, art galleries, and theatres.
6. Spend more time getting to really know my true friends.
7. Take more time to visit my parents and Mike’s parents, and our grandparents—They’re getting older and won’t be here forever.
8. Visit surrounding states and cities: DC, Baltimore, Jersey, etc.
9.Have more date nights—All work and no play makes a marriage suck.
10. Stand still and breathe-I need to incorporate this on a daily basis.
11. Buy a bicycle.
12. Have more massages, pedicures, and treats to myself—I deserve it!
13. Vacation to a new destination every single year.
14. Start a family—I finally think I want this. Eventually!
15. Go to a vineyard— I’ll have to take my dad, because if there’s anyone who would appreciate this, it’s him.
16. Get published—Did I already mention this one?
17. Go to Paris, Italy, Australia, Hawaii, Europe, Greece, Africa. — I know this seems a bit repetitive but I feel the need to be more specific.
18. Renovate my house.
19. Go to North Carolina to visit my friend Karen.
20. Laugh more and laugh some more.
21. Be more impulsive.
22. Kiss more, hug more, and love more.
23. Pray more—This one’s important.
24. Have more lunch dates, dinner dates, and dessert.
25. Try different foods, savor a good meal.
26. Slow down and allow myself to do nothing once in a while—This is going to be a challenge.
27. Stay in my jammies all day and have a movie marathon, just not Brando …Sorry Mike but we’ve watched every Brando movie at least 100 times. Jeez…
28. Have many girls’ weekends.
29. Pay off any debt and pay ahead on mortgage.
30. Work to fix any strained relationships I have—My sister is at the top of this list.
31. Meet new people.
32. Make more movies, write more books.

Okay so that is what I’ve come up with so far, but I’m sure I will add to the list along the way.

Even though this is Day 2 of My Write to Live, it’s really still Day 1 and already I’ve fulfilled things on both lists. This morning on my way to work I called an old friend I haven’t talked to in maybe a year. She lives in Maryland where I’m from, and I haven’t made the time to talk to her or to see her. She had a little boy who is almost 2 years old that I’ve never seen. Pretty sad, huh? Last week out of the blue she text-messaged me at like 6:00 AM and said that she missed me. When I got to work I sent her a long email apologizing for being a bad friend. I apologized for not calling more, for not making more of an effort to meet up, for not ever meeting her son. (Although relationships are two way streets, and she could have made more of an effort to see me, I can only accept responsibility for my actions. And truth be told, I haven’t been a good friend.) I didn’t get a response to my email, but the thought of her lingered in the back of my mind. So when I got in the car this morning after listening to the rest of the I Have a Dream speech, I called her. We talked for about twenty minutes filling each other in on our lives. It felt good to reconnect. While I’m not sure we will ever be as close as we once are, I’m going to make more of an effort to keep in touch.

I had lunch with my friend Renee and her stepson, Jesse, and more than once, I made him smile (number 5 on yesterday’s lessons list). It was the first time I’ve seen Renee since she quit working with me last month. While we text almost every day it was the first time we’ve laid eyes on each other, and I know this will sound corny but when I saw her I got a knot in my throat. Here’s a little back story on our relationship. She started working at my job almost two years ago and even though we didn’t jump in with both feet initially, once we knew we liked each other we were both in, and in all the way. We laughed—and I mean belly laughed—at a lot of the same things, had the same taste, enjoyed eating the same junk food (corn nuts, corn muffins, pretzels, jalapeno chips), and we spent way too much time yapping when we should have been working about any and everything. I found myself confiding in her things I didn’t tell anyone else, and she did the same. I loved her, and I realized it was the first time in a very long time that I had a friend who I really believed in my heart of hearts was going to always be my friend. When she started she was dating Dan, but in the course of her time at our job she got engaged, married Dan, and quit. I was happy for her because I knew she wanted to go but in the back of my mind I worried that our relationship would change: out of sight, out of mind so to speak. She’d hang out with her other friends. She’d forget about me. We’d text less and less, and then not at all. I worried. We had plans to get together earlier in the month and she cancelled. I worried some more. But after seeing her today I know I have nothing to worry about. Our conversation flowed as if not a day has gone by. We talked about this, that, and everything, agreeing to take a girls’ weekend (number 28 on the happiness list) this fall, and committing to getting together at least once every month.

I have spent my life longing for true friends and wondering why I didn’t have any. Perhaps I am the reason I didn’t. Maybe I took them for granted. I didn’t call enough, didn’t get together enough, and didn’t listen enough. But as I write this I realize I do have true friends and I want to be a good friend. I really do. So I’m adding one more thing to the Happiness list:

33. Be a better friend.

Now on with living!