Well hello all. I’m sorry that I failed to post yesterday as I said I would, but unfortunately I was at a loss for words. Imagine that… I don’t have much more to say today, but I’m hoping writing this will help me to work through some of the things in my head. So, here we go…
The weekend was pretty, um, uneventful. Friday night, Mike took me for a ride in the Camaro. Actually, let me backtrack for a minute…
Friday evening I came home from work and started my normal chores. I’m pretty sure Mike was home already and had already started them (he read last week’s post where I called him out for driving around the neighborhood a few times to ensure all the chores are done before arriving…ha). After all work was done, he asked me what I wanted to do, and being that it was so nice out, and he didn’t get to take his ole girl out the weekend before, I suggested we take the car for a spin. He couldn’t have been happier to oblige. He said he was going to go out to the garage to wipe her down, and I said I was going to go upstairs and read for a bit. We both went our respective ways. Just as I was reading about Stephen King’s reaction when he found out that Carrie was going to paperback, I heard this thunderous noise. I heard it again, and again, and again, and then it was gone. Mike came back into the house and from the kitchen he yelled, “Honey, come down, I want to show you something.” I grudgingly pulled myself out of bed and went down the stairs. You should have seen the smile on his face when I got there.
Mike’s Camaro was owned by a sixty-something year old man with lots of cash, several other big toys in his garage (Corvette, another Camaro, Trans Am, etc.) and a love for the breed. The car has been beautifully restored with the best parts, and all the work has been masterfully done. He crafted these removable steel plates that go over the mufflers to mask the ferocity of the beast. But when uncapped, she truly roars like the lion she is, hence the thunderous sound from before. Mike thought it was a splendid, melodic idea at 6 o’clock on a Friday evening as our neighbors were dining out on their decks, to unleash her rage (uncapping her). And I just stood there thinking, boys will be boys.
Anyway, we took the ole girl out, uncapped and all, and let me tell you, the car is no joke!!! You wouldn’t believe the people that stare at it, point at it, and ogle over it. And you wouldn’t believe the Kool-Aid smile on Mike’s face as he’s driving it. It’s priceless.
Saturday morning I got up bright and early and worked on submission packages until 3:00 PM. Mike cut the grass, power-washed the garage (he can’t have his girl in a dirty garage… I mean, come on), and hung a light for me. All and all, it was a productive day. I made us some dinner, we perused our vast movie collection, picking The Deer Hunter for our viewing pleasure, and nuzzled up in bed to watch it. Oh, and even though the back cover of the DVD case says it’s a feel-good movie, and it’s heartwarming, it’s so NOT. That movie is straight up depressing, and looooooooong! De Niro was brilliant, and there were scenes that Mike and I marveled over, but all in all it was a complete downer.
By 11 o’clock Saturday night I started to feel congested, and then feverish, and then my ears and throat started to hurt. Needless to say I got no sleep that night.
Sunday was the very first “chill” day I’ve had in a long time. Mike and I got up and went to Trader Joe’s and Walmart, but other that we didn’t do much. Oh, we did go to Bob Evans for a late breakfast which was nice. I got the blueberry hotcakes, and Mike got the blueberry stuffed French toast. It was yummy and nice to just spend time with him. We went home, both got in our jammies, settled into bed, finished The Deer Hunter, and drifted off for a little afternoon nappy nap. With the windows opened, and the rain trickling down off of the roof, the setting welcomed our languidness.
So as I said, the weekend was pretty uneventful. The car show was rained out. Out of the twenty-eight submissions I wanted to send out, I only sent eleven. We determined that uncapped, the car is a real beast. I ate pizza, fries, and I did have another one of those damn milkshakes. And I got a cold. Now maybe you can understand why I didn’t post an entry yesterday—there was nothing too interesting to say. I’m not even sure this is worth posting.
I’m going back and reworking chapters 1-5 of my manuscript. The next round of submissions requires those chapters, and I think they need to be stronger. I’m really learning through this process that nothing good comes overnight, and that people like famous actors, authors, and ball players are not a special breed of people, they’re just people (in most cases) that have worked hard for years. In the grand scheme of things, it hasn’t been that long, so I have to just work this and rework this until it’s the best it can be. So this week, I’m reviewing chapters 1-5,taking my time to go line by line and really think about making it stronger.
There is a prologue to my book that is quirky and catchy, but when you got to chapter 1 I found that the first paragraph lost some of the fire. It didn’t grab me and make me want to keep reading.
So, I thought about it, and I thought about my protagonist and what was going on and how she’d be feeling, and I made a change. Check out the two variations and let me know what you think:
Original paragraph 1:
"There’s nothing better than autumn in New York. Parents hurrying their less-than-enthusiastic children around to gather school supplies in stores with jam-packed displays of number-two pencils, rulers, erasers, and spiral notebooks. The air turning crisp, concerts at Carnegie Hall, snuggling into the first over-sized wool sweater of the season. Hordes of fashionistas attending the most fabulous shows at Bryant Park. Depleted runners on every corner, beginning or ending their daily run in preparation for the New York City Marathon. And most importantly, the burnt-colored leaves decorating every store window—I think to remind us city-dwellers of the perfectly harmonic leaves that grace every maple, elm, and oak tree outside of the city. As I stand in Borders Books and Music at 10 Columbus Circle in Manhattan, in front of a room of smiling, expectant faces, I can’t help but gaze out the window at my enchanting city. With the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows and warming the side of my face, all I can think is that I’m glad to be back in the Big Apple, the last stop on my twenty-one-city book tour."
Updated paragraph 1:
"Shit, shit, fuck....after twenty of these you’d think I’d have it together, dispelling the need to spew cuss words in my head like an involuntary Turret’s tic (I don’t normally swear), but I’m STILL a nervous wreck every time. “Just read the words on the page,” I chant under my breath trying to assuage my mounting hysteria and looking grimly at the melange of people filing in. Man, I hate being the center of attention. And let me clear something up right now…this is not me being a pretentious, ungrateful, woe-is-me writer, complaining about speaking in front of a room of faithful fans. This is me, the fourteen-year-old with braces and headgear who threw up while reading my essay at my middle school’s annual essay competition. And trust me, headgear and a teal and black polka dot dress that my grandma handpicked just for the occasion, both dripping with vomit, does not a good look make. Standing in Borders Books and Music at 10 Columbus Circle in front of a room of smiling, expectant faces, I gaze out the window at my enchanting city flush with October. As it always does, the thrum of activity here has a strange calming effect on me. I turn my head back to the crowd. With the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows and warming the side of my face, suddenly all I can think is that I’m glad to be back in the Big Apple, the last stop on my twenty-one-city book tour."
Better? I think it is. Does option 2 make you want to keep reading a bit more than option 1? I sure do hope it does. Is this process exhausting? God yes. But do I want it more than anything else, and will I continue to work it until it’s right? Absolutely!!!!!
Mike and I leave in two weeks for vacation and I really can’t wait. Neither of us has ever been to Bermuda so we’re excited to explore the island. Yesterday we agreed that every year we’re going to pick a destination we’ve never been and go even once we have a baby, and I’m happy to say we’ve agreed that next year is PARIS!!!!! Talk about excited.
My life really is good. If you take away the house, the cars, and all the things, I still have my animals and Mike, my bff, my husband, and the person that gets me more than anyone else. And I can’t explain how nice it is to be in a relationship with someone who sees me for who I am, and what I am, and just loves it.
Yesterday evening when I was feeling a little blue and discouraged, Mike suggested we start renovating my “writing” room before we do any other room in the house. He told me to think about how I want it, and that he will make sure the room gets finished so that I have that creative place to work.
That’s love.
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